We Have a Name!!

When we found out we were pregnant, Anthony and I had agreed that if the baby was a boy then we would use his middle name, Truitt, as either the first or middle name. We had said we didn't really want to use any other family names, but after going through sooo many names nothing sounded right except for one. My dad's middle name is Kent...Truitt Kent sounded perfect! For a while we had said that the name would be Truitt Kent for a boy, and everyone liked it. However, as time went on it just didn't sit as well with me..kind of hard to explain.

Once we found out Baby B had a heart condition, we knew we had to pick a name with a strong meaning. I began going through books and googling different things, but still nothing. Finally I decided I would just pray about it...duh...I should have done that from the start! So I began asking the Lord to give us the perfect name. About a week after praying, Anthony's cousin sent me a message letting me know that she was praying for us, and that when she prayed she was calling Baby B Josiah which means God heals/Jehovah saves. As soon as I read that she was calling him Josiah I instantly began to cry. The Lord had answered my prayer through Katie...I knew in my heart that this was the name for our baby boy! I immediatly called Katie to tell her (even though she had said she completely didn't expect us to name him that). Anthony was at the gym at the time..and I couldn't wait for him to get home so I could tell him! He loved the name as well as the meaning.

And, so there you have it....Josiah Truitt Barfield!!
If you haven't ever read about Josiah in the Bible, I encourage you to do so. He was actually the King of Judah, and what a godly man he was! It is so nice to finally have a name, and in a way makes it more real. January 29th can't get here fast enough, we are ready to meet you Josiah!!

"Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did,

with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength..."

~2 Kings 23:25

Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome

Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome...after about 2 hours of a combination of waiting in the lobby and trying to get a good scan of Baby B, this was our diagnosis. I go back next Wednesday to rescan (they could not get a good picture of his mitral valve..he has learned to be a stinker about cooperating...). Dr. Videlefsky...or Dr. V for good reason, is pretty confident that this is what Baby B has and I feel pretty good about him being right as well. After all he is a pediatric cardiologist and focuses only on the heart and not the specialist who has to know a little bit about every part of the baby. So, I guess our diagnosis technically could change..but we will wait and see.

Let me first say how impressed Anthony and I were with Dr. V. He, along with his ultrasound tech were so incredibly patient with Baby B. They ended up alternating twice trying to get the pictures that they needed to make a diagnosis. Once Dr. V finished his second scan he told us he was going to go visit another patient, but after that he wanted to spend a lot of time with us in his office explaining everything that he had found.

We sat down and Dr. V drug his chair over to the same side of his desk that we were sitting. He took out a piece of paper and a pen, and then proceeded to tell us he wanted to draw us a picture of what exactly was going on with Baby B's heart. He began by telling us that Baby B has (from what he sees) a very serious heart condition known as Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He then started drawing a picture of a normal heart and how it functions, including the lungs and body. He then explained to us how blood travels through the different chambers, arteries...basically the complete function of the heart. Next he began to point out what he saw to be wrong with B.

B has a hypoplastic left ventricle (hypoplastic just means small). This would explain why Dr. Pohl's ultrasound tech had trouble getting a good picture of all 4 heart chambers. He also has critical aortic valve stenosis (which means his aortic valve is very narrow). Dr. V also mentioned he could see where B's left ventricle tried to enlarge in order to push more blood through his aortic valve but was unsuccessful and has in turn caused some damage to the walls of his left ventricle.

The typical treatment for this is called the Norwood Operation and is broken up into 3 surgies. It has been around since the 1980s and has an 80%+ success rate.

Stage 1- will be at birth
Stage 2 - between 4-6 months
Stage 3 - between 18 months and 5 years

I never thought I would say I was greatful for taking that awful biology class my freshman year of college..and I can clearly remember staying up almost all night before a test we had, trying to memorize the entire heart because we were expected to redraw it. I am now thankful for that class! It made it a little easier to understand what Dr. V was explaining to us and what each surgery would consist of. I do not want to overload your brain with all kinds of medical terms or even try to explain what each surgery will do. But with each surgery Baby B's blood flow/circulation will greatly improve.

Now let me be completely honest and share with you what Dr. V has told us. There is (as of now) no cure for what Baby B has. The Norwood Operation only eliminates Baby B's use of his left ventricle and essentially reroutes how blood will flow through his heart. All of the work that the left ventricle normally does will be done by his right ventricle. Praise the Lord that doctors have been able discover that this is even possible and will give our baby a chance at life!! But, with the good comes the bad sometimes. Because Baby B's right side of his heart will be pulling double duty this means that his heart will more than likely tire out faster. Dr. V mentioned that many children by the time they are somewhere in their 20s usually require a heart transplant.

Right now my mind is not even focused that far in the future, and who knows what advances science will have made by that time anyhow. For now all of my attention is focused on keeping B put and allowing him to grow inside of me so that he will big and strong for what he will have to face when he is born. He has a strong heartbeat that was at 140 yesterday and from what every doctor has told me, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to deliver B naturally. Unless of course "normal" emergencies arise and there would be a need for an emergency c-section. Some have asked what will happen after he is born. If all goes as planned, they will take him straight to the NICU and begin an IV of prostoglandin (a medicine that willl keep a certain part of is heart open that normally closes after birth). He will remain there for 2 days and then they will transport him to Egleston. By this time I should be alright to leave the hospital and be able to go with Anthony to be with B.

Many have asked how we are doing emotionally, and I can honestly say we have an over abundant sense of peace and comfort about this entire situation. Now I would be lying and we wouldn't be human if I said we didn't have our moments from time to time. It's hard to think about the life threatening situation your baby is going to have to face as soon as he is born. We have chosen to look at the many blessings the Lord has given us so far. The blessing of knowing about B's heart before hand rather than after he is born. The blessing of having the Norwood Operation to help B's blood circulate through his heart in a different manner. The comfort of knowing that Christ knew exactly how B would be formed before he was even conceived and that none of this information is knew to Him. The privilege to go the the Lord in prayer and ask for specific healing of B's condition and knowing that if He so chooses, He can perform a miracle and completely heal B before he even gets here. Let me say we know that Baby B WILL be healed one way or another, whether it be from a miraculous healing from our Lord, through the surgery performed by the doctors, or when He meets Jesus and is given a new body. Baby B wins no matter what...

As I have said many times before, the Lord places trials in our path for a good reason. We don't know what the Lord has in store and I look forward to the day when I can look back and say "So...this is what you had in mind..."

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart..."

~Jeremiah 1:5



Not IF You Face Trials, But WHEN

***UPDATE: I wrote this post on Friday after we had our appointment with the specialist. Please note that Baby B's diagnosis has changed, but from Friday-Tuesday morning this is what we believed he had. I felt I should still post this because it is a part of our journey. Unfortunately his new diagnosis is not better. In fact, not that I wish he had a heart problem, but since he does I kind of wish it would have been this rather than the news we received yesterday (9/25/12)...I will post soon about what we have found out)***

Today we had our appointment with Maternal Fetal Specialists. Dr. Pohl referred us to the specialist after we had our 20 week anatomy scan because they were unable to get a clear picture of the 4 chambers of Baby B's heart. Our appointment was at 9:30 (really 10 but I had to fill out a huge packet of papers).  Shortly after 10 I was called back to check my vitals and leave a urine sample (what's new? haha). I was then sent back to the waiting room and Anthony and I proceeded to wait 45 minutes....yes, I was actually starting to get a little annoyed. Finally they called us back and we were taken to room one, the perfect place to take a nap! Dim light and no noise =) The ultrasound tech was very nice! Baby B was actually in a good position to check his heart so she went ahead and did that first. **his head was on the right side as well...every other time we've seen him he's been on the left, guess it was time for a change!**

We could definitely tell that this scan was more in depth as you could see the baby's blood flow in the heart (and other parts like the umbilical cord) with different colors on the screen. The entire week I had had such a peace about what we were going to find out at this appointment. I expected the tech to say "alright, I don't see any problems, baby boy is perfectly fine". However, as the scan continued and the tech remained pretty quite I felt in my heart that something probably wasn't right. I could tell Anthony felt the same way as he will usually talk to me and say "oh look at that", etc. She proceeded to cheack other parts of the baby (measuring the head, looking at the brain, etc) pretty much what my doctor's office had done last week. She also reaffirmed Baby B was definitely a boy! After the scan we waited for the doctor to come in and tell us the results. After about 10 minutes of waiting Dr. Read finally knocked on the door and walked in. He introduced himself and and asked why we believed we were here. I told him what Dr. Pohl had told us (about the 4 chambers and movement of the wall). He then proceeded to tell us that the baby did have something wrong with his heart. The next several minutes, we received what seemed like a whirlwind of information...

Dr. Read explained to us what he believed to be the 2 defects of Baby B's heart (this diagnosis will be confirmed at my appointment next Tuesday with Dr. Videlefsky, the Pediatric Cardiologist). 1) Transposition of the two great vessels and 2) Ventricular Septal Defect. So...what does that mean? Let me explain to the best of my knowledge, and I'm sure I'll learn more as we have more doctor's appointments:

1) Tranposistion - this basically means that the 2 main arteries leaving the heart are switched which does not allow adequate mixing of oxygenated and unoxygenated blood to mix.

2) Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) - this is a hole in the heart. And, according to Dr. Read this is actually an ok/good thing right now as it is allowing some of his blood to mix.

The only way to fix transposition is with surgery, actually 3 surgeries from what Dr. Read explained. But, at least it IS fixable! What will more than likely take place (keep in mind this could change I guess, we will find out more next Tuesday and at another appointment that we will have with a pediatric cardiac surgeon). is after Baby B is born he will be given some medication (from what I've read it might be prostaglandin) and will then have to be stabalized. Once he is stabalized he will be transported to Elgeston Children's Hospital where he will undergo his first heart surgery. Now, I'm not exactly sure when the next 2 surgeries will take place, there was a ton of information to take in at the time, but I believe Dr. Read said all 3 surgeries would be completed by the age of 6 months. SHEW...what a lot to comprehend!!

It's kind of difficult to breakdown all the emotions and thoughts that were running through my mind while in the ultrasound room. Part of me wanted to breakdown and have a good cry, but the other part of me wanted to hold it all together so that I could understand everything Dr. Read was explaining to us. You could classify me as the "worrier" type, I am definitely the emotional one in the marriage...that's alright I'm a girl! Today I was not the normal "me"...I have no doubt the Lord held me together as we received the news about Baby B and all the things we learned we are going to experience after he is born. You know, you usually tend to say to yourself or to someone who is going through something big like this, "I have no clue how I would feel or how I would handle that! I don't think I would be able to...". But, you know what...you alone are not getting yourself through whatever trial you may be expriencing, it is none other than our Lord Jesus Christ! He gives us exactly what we need, He sustains us and holds us together when we want to fall apart. I have no doubt He was right there with us when we received this news, He had to be...because it is an unexplainable feeling of comfort and a clear mind that I had as Dr. Read was explaining everything to us.

As we were waiting for the nurse to come back in to let us know when our appointment would be, the song "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens popped into my mind... you can listen to it HERE. I have no idea what the Lord has in store for us and others during this trial. And, keep in mind He never said if you experience trials, but WHEN you experience trials. I do know He uses all things for His glory. I will just continue to pray for His will to be done and that some day I will understand why He allowed us to go through this. Maybe it is to draw us closer to Him, maybe it's so someone will come to Christ, I'm not sure what all the Lord will do from this trial, but I know it will be something! I will choose to accept it now and understand it later...

"If You Want Me To" -Ginny Owens

 

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

 

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to


Gender Reveal Party!

We decided we wanted to throw a gender reveal party once we found out we were pregnant...since they're all the rage right now =) After telling them family mom said she and dad wanted to help...I think she was hoping I would tell her early what we were having! The hardest part was determining who we would invite..even just limiting to family could have potentially made for a huge party! All of Anthony's family lives here while all of my family either in North Carolina, Ohio, or California. We came to the conclusion to only have the grandparents-to-be and great grandparents-to-be come for the family and then we also invited a few close friends. I hated having to limit family, but there is just no cut-off point and we would have ended up having to book the fellowship hall at church!

The party was scheduled for Sunday the 16th at 2:30 in the afternoon. That gave Anthony and I 4 whole days to keep the secret between just the 2 of us =) it was nice, but hard at the same time!Everyone kept trying to get us to slip up and say "he" or "she" and it was actually much harder than I thought to keep from spilling the beans!! I kept saying "trust me,  it's just as hard to know and not say anything as it is for you not to know".

We originally wanted to have the party at our house, but once we started figuring up who all would there, we realized there was no way our little house would comfortably fit everyone. The party ended up being at my mom and dads and it worked out pretty well. Mom and dad rearranged some of the furniture so that everyone would have a place to sit, and I attempted to decorate a little. There was also WAY too much food..but that's alright we had leftovers for the next few days =) Rather then revealing with cake or cupcakes, we decided to reveal the gender with a box of balloons.

**A note to those of you who might plan on doing the balloon reveal or just need a large box: we asked a bunch of stores and dad ended up getting Academy Sports to save him 2 from one of their shipments. Anthony and I found out when we went to Party City to get balloons that they have a big cardboard dumpster that they throw tons of boxes (of all sizes) away in. The lady blowing up our balloons mentioned that the dollar store had a cardboard dumpster as well.**

Once everyone was finished eating and we fellowshiped for a bit, I shared the prayer quilt my Aunt Debbie had made for the baby and brought down during her and Uncle Mike's Labor Day weekend visit (I'll post a separate blog about that). Then of course mom shared a few things and made everyone cry, thanks mom! After that we all headed outside for the big reveal.

We gathered at the end of the driveway so mom and dad's big oak trees wouldn't get in the way and then proceeded to cut open the box....as soon as we opened it all of the BLUE balloons flew out and everyone cheered!! It was so fun to see everyone's reaction!! Pretty much everyone, minus a few friends and family, decided to head back home. The rest of us went back inside since it was hot and we shared the outfit we had bought to bring Baby B home in. We all just kind of hung out for a but and then decided it was time to clean up. I'm glad we ended up throwing the reveal party. I'm not sure I would do it with every child as it took some planning and getting ready for, but I'm glad we did it.

 

 

 

 

...Now, if we could just decide on a name!

What's Baby B Going to Be?

September 12th was our scheduled anatomy/gender scan and 9:30 couldn't get here fast enough!! Anthony, as usual met up with me at the doctor's office and we headed back to the ultrasound room. We had debated for a few weeks prior whether or not to find out at the appointment what the Baby B was or if we would have them write it down, go out to dinner, and then find out over dinner what the gender was. We decided at the doctor that we would just go ahead and find out while we were there and it ended up being the first thing she checked!

Let me say, there was no denying it was a BOY! As soon as she got a good picture I asked "is that a boy??" and she said "it sure is!". How exciting!! The whole time everyone had been asking me if I had a feeling of what it was and I honestly have to say there was no special feeling. Everyone had been thinking it was a boy so I just kind of went with the flow and thought maybe it was. Anthony had been thinking girl, but I think he was presently surprised when we found out it was a boy! One of the nice things is we can narrow our name search to just boys!!

The rest of the scan consisted of checking measurements of different things like his head, stomach, and different bones. Everythings measured great but she did have some trouble with his heart. He wasn't in the best position and she ended up going back 3 or 4 times to try and get a good clear picture of the four chambers of his heart. she mentioned she would let Dr. Pohl know she had some trouble, because she said she'd rather be honest then say she could clearly see all 4 chambers. We were sent back to the waiting room with a few pictures, one of which is by far my favorite, he looks like he is praying =)

Praying Baby B!

After a short wait we were called back to meet with Dr. Pohl. He greeted us and asked how we were and then began to explain the information the tech had relayed to him. He confirmed that she did have trouble finding the fourth chamber of his heart and that she was concerned with some of the movement of the wall of his heart. Surprisingly at this point, I wasn't freaking out. We patiently listened as Dr. Pohl told us that he would schedule an appointment for us to go to Maternal Fetal Specialists to get a follow-up ultrasound of Baby B's heart. I asked him what he thought could be wrong, but of course there was no way to tell as of yet, or even if there was anything wrong. He did say that there are around 50 different things that can be wrong with a baby's heart and they range from mild to severe. But, other than that he couldn't really tell us much more until we had the results from the other scan. I remember him saying "try not to worry, even though I know you probably will..".

He asked how everything else was going and if I had any questions. The only thing I asked was if it was normal to feel like you're breaking in half when you turn over in the middle of the night! So far that's been the worst part of pregnancy...it is NOT fun to switch sides..Of course it can be normal since your body is releasing certain hormones to losen all your ligaments, etc. I just have to suck it up ;)..and did I mention my pelvic bone has started to pop as well..it sounds terrible, haha!

Surprising Family

The day we had decided to tell our family had finally come!! My mom's birthday is on June 20th and we had planned to tell her and my dad then, but we were so close to 12 weeks and we couldn't keep the secret any longer. So, we decided to give her her birthday present a week early!

My mom has been a hair dresser for over 50 years! And, one day Anthony told me he wanted me to learn how to cut his hair...coming from the man who is pretty picky about getting his hair cut every 2 weeks (at least he used to be)...are you kidding? Mom had taught me how to put on her color, so I had been doing that for quite some time, but a man's haircut?? Anyhow, she taught me about a year ago and I have been cutting Anthony's hair ever since. Talk about saving some money!! Before mom retired she had been doing hair in her salon, located in their basement, for the past few years and so I have a great place to cut hair. We've made it a routine that about every 2 weeks we will come over on a Friday or Saturday so I can cut Anthony's hair. We decided that on Friday (July 13) that we would head over to "cut Anthony's hair" and give mom her birthday present early. Perfect plan...they wouldn't suspect a thing.

With Shiloh (baby #1) I had bought 2 bibs, one that said "I love Grandma" and "I love Grandpa". We had planned on surprising them with the bibs until we had our miscarriage, and then I tucked them away in a drawer. I was so excited I would finally be able to use them! I wrapped them both up separately and placed them on the bottom of a gift bag. About 20 minutes after getting to my parent's house we made mom come in and open her gift. Anthony had our camera and was able to video the whole thing! Her reaction was great, and of course dad was excited but he's more of the quite type =). Mom and dad had a sunday school get together that evening and mom insisted that they "wear" the bibs to show everyone...

Proud Grandma and Grandpa Reck!
This will be grandbaby #9!

We waited until Saturday to tell Anthony's parents. Anthony and his dad referee little league football in the fall and they ended up having to ref some early scrimage games that morning/afternoon. We planned on having pizza at their house after they had finished and I offered to bring the dessert. I decided to get a cookie cake at Publix and I had a lady at the bakery write "We're having a baby!" on it. I palced it in a dish and covered it in foil so they wouldn't be able to see it. About 30 minutes after eating we decided to get out the desert..I'll never forget Sharon saying "just bring me a piece.." I told her she HAD to come see it because it was the best desert I had made yet, haha! Bubba took off the foil and immediately shouted "whoohooo!" It took Sharon a second to read it and then repeatedly said "are you kidding, oh my gosh!". We again were able to get their reaction on camera and it was great! Jessica, Anthony's sister left that Thursday for a vacation in Mexico and we knew she wouldn't have service on her phone. We ended up sending her a little clip of an ultrasound and she immediatley called congratulating us!

The surprise cookie cake!

All of the surprises turned out wonderful and we couldn't have asked for better reactions from everyone!

I Know You're Sick of Doctor Posts =)

**To save you from reading more boring posts about doctors appointments, I'll just combine a couple so we can try to get caught up to present time:

June 12 appointment:
I had my 3rd Doctors appt. in 3 weeks today. I must say it's kind of nice to be able to see your baby each week and get that extra reassurance that everything is ok. Anthony wasn't able to go this time but I asked him if he could take off for the next one in 3 weeks...seems so far away! Everything looked great again. The baby had definitely gotten bigger and Dr. Pohl mentioned that it had a lot of room to grow, which is good. He said the babies that usually get in trouble are the ones who don't have a very big gestational sac to grow in. He also noted and showed me 2 spots around the outside of my endometrium. I can't recall what he said they were called but he explained that it had something to do with my low progesterone. He again stressed thats why it was so important that I'm taking the Prometrium. The 2 spots are nothing to worry about but he said they will probably clot off and make their way out (glad he told me so I'll be prepared and not freak out!).

He measured the baby and it stayed right on track showing that it's right at 7 weeks, so Dr. Pohl made my official due date January 29, 2013! I asked him when we'd be "out off the woods" and he said normally it would be 8 weeks, but because of this whole progesterone thing, not until 10 weeks...3 weeks! It feels so far away! I saw the heartbeat again and he made a picture plus a dvd for me! So neat to be able to show Anthony since he wasn't there. I also met with him in his office as he had a couple things he wanted to ask/share with me. First he wrote my due date on the back of a card, lol. Then he asked if I was planning on having a natural vaginal childbirth. I said yes and he replied "good, that's how I believe it was meant to be anyways, I have a very low c-section rate as well". Glad to hear that as I do not plan on having a c-section unless absolutely necessary. And, we're going to attempt no epidural as well...we will see! He also discussed the optional 12/13 week ultrasound (the nuchal fold scan) to do genetic testing for down syndrome, etc. Anthony and I haven't discussed this thouroughly yet, but I'm leaning towards no, because there is always that chance of a false positive which would just lead to extra worry. And, we will love our baby no matter what.

Baby B at 7 weeks!

July 3 appointment:
July 3 is Anthony's dad's birthday. We had debated whether or not to let the family in on our little secret, but decided we would continue waiting until we got closer to the end of the first trimester.

Anthony was able to meet me at this appointment (he's only missed 1 so far). My vitals and weight were fine and we had another ultrasound as well. This one was the best by far because Baby B actually looked like a little baby and not just like a little peanut!! You could see it's legs and arms moving all around, it was so precious! The baby definitely put on a little show for us and even had the hicups at the end...melt my heart!! Baby B measure right around 1 1/2 inches and had a good strong heartbeat.

Baby B at 10 weeks!

We decided to go ahead and do the nuchal fold ultrasound, but not the blood tests (which according to Dr. Pohl tend to have a greater chance of false positives). While doing the ultrasound Dr. Pohl mentioned he could tell the baby looked normal and therefore the unltrasound should be fine. This will also give us another chance to see the baby, who wouldn't want to do that!?


July 25 appointment:
Today we had the nuchal fold ultrasound and everything looked and measured great!! It was soo fun to see how much Baby B had grown!!! B was very wiggly and active this morning..so it took a while for the ultrasound tech to get a good picture of what she needed. We did get a cute picture of B with his/her hand in their mouth =)

Hand in mouth